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Navajo code talkers in the Pacific in WWII.

This review contains SPOILERS. If you haven’t seen this movie you may want to wait to read what’s below.

The Rules of War
(according to Windtalkers)

  1. All the good guys have blindingly white perfect teeth.
    • No matter how filthy and unshaven they are.
    • Even if they’ve just been blown up or shot
    • Even if they just had the crap beaten out of them by another Marine or a Japanese soldier
  2. Nicholas Cage never gets hurt until the very end of the movie
    • Even when he’s running through machine gun fire
    • Even when everyone around him is shot
    • Even when there are a million soldiers aiming guns at him

    Exception: he gets hurt a little at the beginning of the movie for character development, since he’s certainly not doing any of that on his own.

  3. Every bullet fired by our guys kills an enemy.
  4. Hardly any of the bullets fired by the enemy kill our guys except where it advances the plot.
  5. All the explosions are very carefully planned to be REALLY COOL. Especially when they add fireworks… (give me a break!!)
    • Any guys caught in these explosions will be thrown around but have no other damage, even if killed. The body flies away perfectly intact with no blood on the uniform.
  6. Marines got deep thoughts, which they express at appropriate times.
  7. Japanese soldiers are just an interchangeable evil faceless mob.
  8. Even saturation bombing does not destroy the big guns if they are hidden by palm fronds.

This was very much like the kind of war movie that was made before 1960, and I’m sure it had my friend the Barracuda repeating, “The HORRORS of WAR” in a monotone all the way through it, just as she used to do when we were young sea creatures and I would make her go see these things at the movies.

Mr. Otter said it best: “They were trying to make Saving Private Ryan, except instead of the half hour of boom and whango in the beginning, to show you how horrific the landing on Omaha Beach was, they put the boom and whango in the middle to show that they could do it just as well as Saving Private Ryan…only they didn’t.”

Imponderable: I checked the Navajo Times online, and all I saw was praise for this movie; I searched Google, and saw nothing about the fact that the Navajo don’t even want pictures of themselves taken, much less movies, for religious reasons, and their reverence for the dead is such that in the museum in Santa Fe there are signs near the archaeological artifacts telling museumgoers that they are about to see grave goods and that the Navajo think this is wrong, so that visitors can skip this section of the museum if they wish.

So here’s this movie showing real Navajo people (Adam Beach is a Salteaux from Manitoba, but the rest of the Navajo were actually Navajo), lots of death and destruction (and yes, it’s just a movie, but still) and also rituals that are purported to be actual Navajo ceremonies.

True, it does show an important and fascinating bit of history and cast a good light on a people who are all too often shown as evil stereotypes in movies, that’s good, but doesn’t the rest of that strike anyone as a little odd???

Maybe not. Anyway, skip this one, it’s pretty tedious.

And Nicholas Cage is NOT a honey in this, he’s just whiny and annoying.

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