Dark Shadows

February 2, 2013


Internet Movie Database
CinemaSins         Movie Reviews

A 200 year old family curse comes back to haunt the latest generation…

Um. Well. Dark Shadows. Yes.

This movie is based on a long-running TV show from the 70s that was a kind of gothic horror soap opera, and Ottersis (who is older than I am) LOVED it. Which, given our family dynamics, meant that I wanted nothing to do with it. Which means I never watched it.

But this movie came out, and Ottersis loved it, raved about it, went to see it twice in the theater. And it has Johnny Depp in it, which is always at least a point in a movie’s favor.

But, unfortunatly, Tim Burton made it, which is (recently) several points against it.

I had an appointment to go to the Red Cross for apheresis, and that involves two hours of immobility while they send all your blood through a machine and then put it back in you…what more appropriate, thought I, than a campy vampire movie?

So I netflixed this, and took it along.

And…well. It passed the time. And there were moments I liked-the 70s references (Johnny Depp is a vampire who is buried for 200 years then comes back to life in the 70s) were fun, that being the decade of my teenagerhood. Seeing Alice Cooper perform was great. The scene where Michelle Pfeiffer crumbled was really excellent.

But you know, I wonder why in the heck Johnny Depp did this…like Alice in Wonderland, it was a badly written special effects fest. Sure, it was campy and there were some fun bits, but damn. He’s a REAL ACTOR. How much money do they have to throw at him for him to do something like this? and if they threw several million dollars at me, would I hesitate to make a mediocre movie, myself? no, probably not. But I hold him to a higher standard.

It didn’t help that the monitor/screen at the Red Cross was REALLY dark. I thought it was just gothic atmosphere…evidently not. The DVD skipped some of the last scene, so I watched it again when I got home, and it looked WAY clearer and better on my big-ass ol’ tv. So maybe that would have made me like it better.

But probably not. Meh but amusing, see it for free for the few bits that were good.