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Riddick kicks ass and takes names. What did you expect?

Oh, Vin Diesel. You are such an awesome person, and yet you are hard to take seriously in movies. You are buff and scary, and yet you are so dumb lookin’ in the face (as we say Chez Otter) that it’s not as believeable as it might be. Pitch Black was so good…and then you went ahead and actually made Chronicles of Riddick, which was RIDDICK-ulously bad.

Sorry, I really couldn’t resist that. But it was. Bad, I mean.

So I didn’t know what to think about this, except that there would be lots of action and gunshots, and Mr. Diesel would probably survive just in case someone needed yet another sequel.

Spider Jerusalem and I were visiting Ottersis and it was hot. Movies! we said. Let’s go to the MOVIES! Air conditioning and gunshots, yes indeedy!

And we agreed that we would not have ANY expectations that this would be in any way good.

And so we were pleasantly surprised…I mean, it wasn’t GOOD, and there were plot holes you could drive a Mack truck through, but it was decent. The plot moved, the actors had lines, nothing really made any of us facepalm in embarrassment at the moviemakers’ idiocy…it wasn’t bad. Aside from the kind of overexposure and orange saturation that filmmakers use to show that a place is alien, and just makes my eyes hurt after a while.

The biggest problem with it was that it violated Mr. Otter’s Iron Law of Stories: the dog died. Dammit. The cute adorable alien dog that loved and trusted Riddick…got killed defending him. And of course that REALLY pissed him off.

Truthfully, if you can see it for free and have nothing better to do, it’s not bad…but only for free.

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